“What’s going on?” asked Miss Feathers.
“Alright, I’m here,” said Uncle Tibbs. “Does anyone know what this is all about?”
“Ajdin told us to be here for a special announcement. That Ajdin is always up to something!” said Miss Feathers.
“Sooooorryyyyy I’mmmmm laaaaateee,” said Ooogie.
“No problem, we haven’t started yet,” said Uncle Tibbs.
“Look! Here he comes now!”
I cleared my throat as I approached the podium.
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, stuffies and non-stuffies,” I began. “Without a doubt, this has been a rather unusual election year. The net has been cast far and wide on both sides for presidential candidates. We have seen many political figures throw their honey jar in the race over the past year. Some of them have included:
Donald TUNA — HONEY Rodham Clinton — BEARnie Sanders — Carly FISHrina — Mike HuckaBEE — TEDDY Cruz — MACKEREL Rubio — BEAR Carson — CARP Christie — SALMON Walker… among many others.”
“Is he doing what I think he’s doing?” whispered Uncle Tibbs.
“However, I believe that none of these candidates truly represent the interests of us stuffies. That is why I have decided to seek the office of the Presidency of the United States. I hope I will earn your vote as the nominee for the Stuffie Party.”
The room erupted into thundering applause.
But there was a heckler in the crowd.
“YOU CAN’T RUN FOR PRESIDENT! YOU WEREN’T BORN HERE! WHERE’S YOUR BIRTH CERTIFICATE?”
I could feel my political career quickly come to a screeching halt, but then I remembered a legal loophole.
“The Stuffie Constitution, Article 2, Clause 5B states that any stuffie may run for President of the United States.”
The crowd cheered! I continued with my speech.
“In recent years, we have seen honey and salmon prices increase, but wages have failed to keep pace. If I am President, all stuffies will have free honey and free salmon!”
The same heckler yelled out again.
“WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR IT?”
“Umm… uh… umm…”
The crowd began to murmur. I could feel beads of sweat forming above my brow. Finally, I thought of a solution.
“… the humans will pay for it!”
The crowd cheered again!
VOTE FOR AJDIN ADILOVIC
FOR A SWEETER FUTURE